You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
this boner is exhausting
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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