I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
