and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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