He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
