I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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