Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
