She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
