I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
