Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
