Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
