my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
