just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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