kristin has been a bad kristin
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
