i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
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