he wants to bone in the snuggie
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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