WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
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