dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
