i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
