i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
