Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
