just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
We are two peas in an std pod
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
