he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Randomize