Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
