Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
