i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
