i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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