I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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