I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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