They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
