Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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