he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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