Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
