Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
