it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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