I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
