I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Hippo gnu deer
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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