At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
