I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
