its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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