bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
