What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize