i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
