I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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