We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Who died my cat blue again?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
