And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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