I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I can't turn off my feet"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
