Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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