i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
