Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Dignity is for republicans.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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