I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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