Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Couch. On fire.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
