Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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