She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Less talking, more tequila
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
