can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
