You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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