oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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