lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
