What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
