id be glad to
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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