your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
