Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
