she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
